Monday, January 26, 2009

The Invisible Mother

Sometimes (like today) I feel very frustrated, tired, and unappreciated, and then a friend sends a wonderful message to lift your spirits. I thought I would share.

Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask me a question.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude - but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ... Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a diseasethat is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my ownself-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree. As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Hope this encourages you when the going gets tough as it sometimes does. We never know what our finished products will turn out to be because of our perseverance.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Christmas and More

We had a Merry Christmas and hope you all did too. I was going to put up 2 trees this year, but I have a 2 year old and new kitten. As you can see the tree didn't last long, and I got tired of fixing it. So this is how it looked at the end of the season. Note the large hole on the left side, the kitten's favorite perch. Jake had a great time opeing presents. "Wow" was his favorite comment.



Michael finally got a tractor of his own, just like Grandpa. He was so excited when opening it.



We spent Christmas Eve in GR. Here are all the kids in our Christmas PJ's. Thanks Mom. Todd had to leave Christmas day because of the huge snow storm which hit SL.


Michael and Jake getting festive in their Elf hats.





We were able to take the boys on a tour of the fire station which was really cool. They each received fire hats, though Jake liked to see his bounce and wouldn't wear it.


Here they are in a real fire truck


Jake is pointing out the safety features :>


Grandpa and the boys by the Fire Hydrant.



Jake's birthday comes soon after Christmas. We made brownies and icecream and gave him a candle to blow out. He wasn't quite sure what to do, and was angry the fire was blocking the food.



Allie came to visit this last week. She and the boys went out to play in all of our snow and they built a snowman. Michael came in looking for eyes, a nose, and arms. We had tons of Christmas candy sitting on the counter so I sent some out. The candy canes broke and Michael used the pieces for hair. The ended up looking like horns, so with horns and red eye's we made a devil snowman. Kindof creepy.


Allie also helped me paint the master bath a nice green and Todd helped me put up the curtain rod, shelves, and pictures today. It is not quite done, but so far I love it!! Thanks guys!!


This last one is just of Jake in his Christmas suit. He looks so grown up. What a cheese!